ast week a friend of mine forward me a post in which the development language was compared to a boat. It was inspired by a recent forum post, and has lot of fun so I decide to share.

Turing

Turing would definitely be a kayak (thank you for comments). It’s small. It’s human powered. It’s often used as a beginner “boat”. And it’s also very Canadian.

Original photo by naokomc

Java

Java is a cargo ship. It’s very bulky. It’s very enterprise~y. Though it can also carry a lot of weight. Will carry a project, but not very fun to drive.

Original photo by cfarivar

Perl

Perl is a tugboat. Powerful enough to tug Java around, in 80 characters or less.

Original photo by xeeliz

Ruby

Ruby is difficult to describe. It’s sleek, sexy, and very fun to drive. Here’s a picture. Very trendy.

Original photo by Tony Falcon

PHP

PHP is a bamboo raft. A series of hacks held together by string. Still keeps afloat though.

Original photo by permanently scatterbrained

C

C is a nuclear submarine. The instructions are probably in a foreign language, but all of the hardware itself is optimized for performance.

Original photo by Ryan C. McGinley

C-sharp

Like a luxury cruiser. Sleek, good looking and quite comfy. However, not very fast , expensive and somewhat limiting.

Python

Undeniably beautiful and elegant in the water, tends to be solid and reliable. Will work with little intervention, but also provides sails to help you go that little bit faster.

HTML

HTML isn’t really a programming language boat.

Original photo by ascendeddaniel

Javascript

Like James Bond Q Boat. It’s small but powerful and it’s really easy to get yourself killed trying to use it.

FORTRAN77

A concrete boat that still lurkes under the surface. You wouldn’t want to set sail with it though. Try navigating around it.

There’s a lot more to the list, and it’s all up for discussion. You can read more opinions on the forum.

My big question is why PHP is a bamboo rafting, and why Rails is better that PHP.
Maybe they didn’t look at PHP5? They are many good frameworks and I really enjoy working with it.

Anyway I thinks PHP is a fishing trawler. Not fancy, not super speedy, but it does exactly what it’s supposed to do, takes a lickin, keeps on tickin. And, it’s cheap.

How would your favorite programming language fare in open waters?

1. cmbookmarks on September 10th, 2008 at 5:47 pm

   lol, nicely said and done..
2. Captain Clean Boat on December 6th, 2008 at 11:56 pm

   Nice and usefull post, thanks, this is one for my bookmarks!
3. nasko: funny - edno23.com on March 12th, 2009 at 2:45 pm

   [...] http://www.candesprojects.com/general/if-a-pr…-boat-…/ в Любими преди 46 секунди edno23.com Начало контакти [...]
4. Z on March 16th, 2009 at 7:42 pm

   C++ is warship. But only stupid civil boats counts :)
5. Anonymous on March 16th, 2009 at 11:27 pm

   Most of these aren’t even programming languages! HTML? PHP? Java? Are you KIDDING me? You must not be a very experienced or knowledgeable programmer if you crank out this tripe.
6. Cristian on March 17th, 2009 at 10:02 am

   Please read more carefully the description for HTML, and then add your comments
7. Dave on April 30th, 2009 at 3:05 pm

   *bows down in Anonymous’ glory* We are all inferior to your programming knowledge.

   PHP, Java are most definitely programming languages, you must have just not used them to much depth.

   HTML, as Cristian said, read the article before you go tooting your “I’m such a programming god” horn and dishing out undeserved insults.

   Good post Cristian, I’d go with you on the PHP choice too, not sure where they got raft from, fishing trawler is far more apt!
8. Steve on May 3rd, 2009 at 2:38 pm

   “Anonymous on March 16th, 2009 at 11:27 pm

   Most of these aren’t even programming languages! HTML? PHP? Java? Are you KIDDING me? You must not be a very experienced or knowledgeable programmer if you crank out this tripe.”

   HTML, I agree, is not a programming language. However Java is very much a programming language and with PHP it depends on the semantics as to whether it’s a programming or scripting language.

   But if you think Java isn’t a programming language…well, you’re making yourself look foolish.
9. anon on May 4th, 2009 at 4:33 am

   ok I think what is really important is that the second picture is photoshopped
10. ontario traffic ticket on May 16th, 2009 at 12:31 am

    PHP and Javascript RULE!

    C is useless, and so is Java.

    PHP Rules!
11. Kansas on May 21st, 2009 at 3:46 am

    Unfortunately, the submarine you showed was not a nuclear submarine, it’s a diesel-electric patrol boat. Can’t remember the type, I believe it’s Soviet, but it’s not an SSN or SSBN.
12. wat on May 21st, 2009 at 6:08 am

    Turing was British not Canadian…
13. Mike on May 28th, 2009 at 7:01 am

    I completely agree with your PHP5 vs Ruby remark in the end. PHP5.3 has features that can kick Ruby out of any game, from my point of view, even though it still has a long way to get to the performance and handling of Java – maybe PHP6 as it looks in the drafts will get closer to that.

    I am also a bit reserved about PHP being a programming language – but only a bit.
    If you were to look at PHP4 and predecessors, you would definitely not put it in the same category as C/C++,Java, etc. However, nowadays, this questions is really difficult. The main argument that still holds for PHP not being a programming language is the lack of compiling, but in a web-driven world, where most of applications are web-based (HTML, JS), the terms of programming language is, from my point of view “deprecated”. – yes, I know, quite a harsh term.

    @ontario traffic ticket: JS doesn’t rule, because it’s single threaded and AJAX either blows your browser environment or your brain, if you try to make a real application in JS.(just a mere example).

    Overall, good post ! I enjoyed reading it.

    Cheers.
14. wildspirit on May 28th, 2010 at 9:34 am

    C++ :

    http://wallpaper.wallpedia.org/24__boat_destroyer.htm
15. talicska on June 16th, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    Lisp is a shipyard. You don’t sail it directly, but create purpose made vessels for your different endeavors.